I admit that when I was in college I was one of those douchebags who wore sunglasses at night. In fairness, it was because when you are inappropriately intoxicated at 8pm and your eyes are rolling around like it's last call you should probably not let people realize that you started happy hour a half hour after lunch. And really, in retrospect, I did a whole lot of douchebag shit in college. Seriously, ask anyone who was there. Even my best friends will confirm that fact.
The thing is, though, that while I can be a real asshole sometimes (read: a lot) you would probably also be hard pressed to find someone who would tell you that I am not polite. I make it a point to say please and thank you. I have a good handshake. I'll look you in the eye when I'm talking to you and I'll wait until everyone at the table has their food before I start to eat. If you saw my gut you would understand that that last one is more impressive than it sounds.
Another thing I won't ever, ever, fucking ever do is wear sunglasses when I'm talking to you or talk on my cell phone when I come up to a register or counter and another human being is standing on the other side. Which brings me to yesterday. King Jerkoff walked into work with mirrored aviators on and a Bluetooth jammed into his ear. He walked up to me, held up his finger telling me to wait a second while he continued to yammer on and on, all the while keeping his glasses on.
After I quelled the urge to grab him by the Bluetooth and smash his face into the counter for being such a fucking douchebag he finished up his conversation and finally gave me the pleasure of helping him. But he left his fucking sunglasses on. I couldn't see his eyes. We were in-fucking-side and this piece of shit just felt like it was necessary to leave on his aviators (which make him a douche in their own right) and start a conversation with "here's what I want you to do."
Why do I have such a misanthropic worldview? Why do I write a blog that is typically full of hate and vitriol? Well, in a nutshell it's because I have to deal with different variations of this fuckstick on a daily basis. You know how they say it takes more effort to frown than it does to smile? Well, yes, people who say that should be covered in honey and tossed on an ant hill, however, it's similar to how I feel about manners. It's not fucking hard to be polite. And being in a sales/service field I can guaran-fucking-tee you that when you are in impolite dickfor I will not deny you quality work, but I will most certainly not be bending over backwards for you.
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