I go on psychotic rants about random shit on a regular basis. A lot of times these rants revolve around selfish people who think that they are way more important than they actually are. Naturally I decided to post these rants in a blog for everyone to see because I think that I am way more important than I actually am. Expect low brow commentary on any and everything with a liberal use of the word douchebag. And lots of commas. Lots and lots of commas.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Well, actually you can. I really don't give a shit whether you continue to visit this particular site. It's your life, man. But Hypocritical Irony is getting all grown up with a real website, http://www.hypocriticalirony.com/. So Uncle Martyin is packing up his shit and moving in with some friends at said website. Please feel free to join us there for more ranting, more raving and more pointing out of the obvious and infuriating.
See you there!
Friday, December 3, 2010
The terrible thing is that I'm joyous about the failure of an effort to raise money for AIDS babes... babies, I meant babies, it's just that I still hope Lady Gaga gets AIDS and dies. (Congratulations for my ability to use the word "babe" in reference to Lady Gaga. If you didn't like it then you go fuck yourself because I thought it was punny.)
And just because I love you and feel bad for writing shitty things while I'm bored, you get this...
Thursday, December 2, 2010
|This goofy looking, Kermit the Frog sounding mother fucker. Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter. (And I mean that in the nicest possible way.)|
Even though he keep questionable company:
|Fucking worst ever.|
Ok, what he actually said was:
"We are an international, multi-ethnic, multi-faith city," Nutter said. "I took some time to step back from all of this to think about it in a larger context."Boring. But he also said:
"The Christmas Village is not a religious service. It's an outdoor fair. It's a very commercial enterprise."BOOM!! Capitalism bitches.
So who's the bad guy? Why, I'm glad you asked. It's City Manager Richard "Dick" Negrin. Ahem...
Negrin said that he never specifically asked for the word to be removed, but talked with Bauer about the complaints.
"He's a great guy who saw a problem, who was trying to help me," Negrin saidOof. For a second there I forgot what a painfully Democrat ridden city Philadelphia is. But there's Negrin to remind me. Go ahead mother fucker. Blame that shit on someone else. Pass the buck. Take no accountability for being a douche, just dance your ass around the fact that you were an idiot.
"No, no, no. I wanted to keep Christmas in the name of the village. I just happened to mention to Bauer that, you know, some people complained. If he decided to take the sign down with zero influence from me then that was his prerogative." I imagine he said.
What a fucking jerkoff. But Nutter's still the shit.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Charity is a great thing. Of course, the people who support the vast amount of charities are annoying fucking douchebags. (Donate to Penn State's Dance Marathon here, unless you hate kids with cancer.) But the idea behind charity is noble. Help out those less fortunate. It makes you feel good. Buuuut, here's the thing. Not sharing when you are wiping your ass on Twitter, to make other people donate money is astoundingly selfish and appalling.
|Well if there's one thing AIDS awareness has taught us, it's that spiders love to go down.|
And don't think I'm letting their dipshit followers who will undoubtedly pony up off the hook. They are just as bad for giving those three the inflated sense of self worth that allows them to take their multi-million dollar earnings from amateur porn, whatever the fuck it is that Gaga does, and the fucking Seacrest empire and put the onus of raising money for a charity on their follows who are statistically out of work at a rate of 1 in 10. And frankly probably even more because they presumably skew towards retard teenages who don't work anyway.
Anyway, stay tuned for the Christmas rant that I'm sure will be upcoming because it simmers in me every year for six weeks until I really and truly lose my shit.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Of course by "discuss" I mean I'll rant and rave about how ABC employs intollerant c... ahem, just a second.
There is really only one word in the English language that I happen to find offensive. That word is cunt. I'm not sure why I find it offensive. I absolutely love offensive words and it's ironic that I would, you know, take offense to one of them. I mean, I'm not personally offended by it because I don't have one, but there's just something about the word that makes me go "oof." Probably because I know that regardless of the company I am in, if someone drops the c-bomb, someone is gonna get hit.
That being said, what I meant to type to start this post was that I'd like to rant and rave about how ABC employs intollerant fucking cunts to spit their bull shit all over the airwaves every Monday through Friday.
We'll not talk about Hasselbeck. We'll not talk about Walters. And we'll not talk about the fat one because I have no idea who she is.
Let's instead talk about Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg, heretofor known as the "Contrarian Cunty Commission" or 3C.
I very much enjoy polite discourse. It's an intelligent past-time that intelligent people can engage in. I also don't mind when people disagree with me as long as they can give me a rational explanation of why. I may not always agree with you, but I won't (usually) judge you for disagreeing with me or being "wrong." (Pardon the redundancy.) What I cannot tolerate, however, is when someone ends an argument by running away because they are unable to articulate their point.
Oh hey, did you watch the clip? Now, O'Reilly is great at baiting people into fights; and it's awesome to watch him make someone else flustered while he maintains his cool. But holy shit did Behar and Goldberg grab that proverbial hook and swallow the shit out of it.
And that is what makes them contrarian pieces of shit. As is typical of liberal Americans, they decided that what they needed to do was try and shout down the person they disagreed with instead of offereing any type of intelligent argument. They spewed vitriol at O'Reilly as he attempted to make a point using an issue that just about everyone would be familiar with. The arguments they made had no place in the "discussion," for lack of a better word, and when their illegitimate dispute fell on mostly deaf ears they ran away.
They were cowards and instead of realizing that they were wrong they screamed and yelled. They made a scene. Then they stomped their feet and ran away. Fuck them.