Oh are you fucking kidding me?

I wrote the headline for this post when I heard that James Cameron was asked to join a panel of men and women to participate in a brainstorming session to help mitigate and repair the damage caused by the catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico. After I wrote it I couldn't think of a single fucking reason why he shouldn't be involved in it. I mean why the fuck not?

The reasoning is that he's revolutionized technology in cinema and might have some good ideas. Frankly, that's good enough for me. So-called "experts" from the government, along with those douchebags responsible for it, haven't been able to come up with anything but their dicks in their hands for the last 44 days so I just can't justifiably say that the man could do worse.

At least he doesn't like to fail. Don't get me wrong, I thought Avatar was a big steaming pile of shit and he still owes me the six hours of my life I spent watching that and Titanic, but they were at least commercial successes and my distaste of those movies revolved more around a lack of human T and A (in the former) and being subjected to that fucking Celine Dion song for the last 15 years (due to the latter.) He also gets a little leeway because Terminator, Aliens and The Abyss were fucking awesome.

While most accounts depict him as an ego-maniacal control freak, maybe those aren't the worst characteristics to look for in a person you want to fix a problem for you. It does, however, set a dangerous precedent. Hollywood stars are already treated like royalty for doing basically nothing. They all have a certain degree of a god complex because they get whatever they want because it's easier to let them think they are more important than they are than to listen to them get all bitchy about not getting their way. But you just wait. After they fix the problem Sean Penn will show up and remind everyone that he was in a movie called Mystic River and that a river is like a gulf (it's not but no one will tell him that,) that he fixed everything in that movie (he didn't but that's neither here nor there,) and that he therefore played an integral role in the recovery of the spill (this will be the first time he's been on the Gulf Coast since he pulled the same shit with Katrina.)

And there you have it. Since I had forgotten, I'll remind you, too, that the root of my hatred of Hollywood and celebrities is not James Cameron. It's not even no talent whores like Lindsay Lohan who can basically do whatever they want, because they amuse me with their idiocy. It's people like Sean Penn, which is the conclusion I came to before.

And Titanic. I fucking hated that movie.