R.I.P. The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien

I don't watch late night television every night. When I have the opportunity or inclination, it is usually to watch Letterman because he's a dick and I respect that. I never quite understood the whole Conan appeal because he always came off as kind of a spastic retard who got cheap laughs. And now I feel bad for not watching him. I don't like seeing bad things happen to good people. Bad things happening to bad people or those who otherwise annoy me are awesome, but bad things happening to good people is not something I enjoy.

Over the last few weeks I became fascinated with the whole Late Night controversy. It wasn't from a CoCo versus Leno standpoint though. I was fascinated with how the whole thing worked. The politics behind the situation make me look forward to the book about this whole fiasco with the anticipation of a nine year old on Christmas Eve. The more I've learned as I've followed the situation, however, the more I genuinely feel bad for Conan O'Brien. Yes, I feel bad for a guy who is getting paid tens of millions of dollars to be fired.

Last night I, like I'm sure more people than ever, tuned into Conan's last night hosting The Tonight Show. That shit was heartbreaking. I'm still more interested in the entertainment business politics that precipitated this whole ordeal but last night The Tonight Show was a platform for a nice man getting the only thing he ever wanted ripped from his hands. More accurately, it was a platform for a nice man to give the only thing he ever wanted back for the sake of its integrity. It became "The Tonight Show is bigger than me and I'd rather not have it than see it get destroyed."

By most accounts Conan is a comedian who dreamed of hosting The Tonight Show, paid his dues, waited longer than he should have, and finally got what he not only deserved but was promised (and contractually obligated by NBC to receive.) If his final address to his audience last night was honest, he was allowed to say anything he wanted. He could have used a few minutes to tell NBC to go fuck itself, Leno to gas up one of his cars and let it run in the garage as he drank a bottle of bourbon and ate a dozen vicodin, then said good night and walked away. Instead he took the high road. He didn't exactly thank NBC, but he did acknowledge that the network was the vehicle that allowed him to get to where he is today (which is ironic considering it is also the vehicle that is now running him over, backing up, and then running him over again.) The man was almost in tears as he thanked his fans and supporters. Do you know how much you have to love something to be sad about giving it up for 37 million dollars? That just shows me that Conan has a lot of integrity and is also one of those lucky people in the world who get to love what they do and get rewarded handsomely for doing it.

Of course he also said that cynicism is bad and he hates that attitude in people. Well to that I say, fuck that ginger. What does he know? If it wasn't for cynicism I wouldn’t have a blog that was read by literally TENS of people every week. Seriously though, it sucks to see a nice guy finish last. One can only hope that in the long run he will not, in fact, end up last but instead land on his feet doing what he loves on a network that will let him do it. Maybe it will be Fox. ABC? Animal Planet? Or maybe Letterman might want to retire soon and he can hand another show over to Conan. Oh the speculation will be riveting! What will Conan do? He's like the Brett Favre of late night TV. Except that I don't hope that he dies in a fire.