R.I.P. Jersey Shore

With my recent rantings about Harry Reid and Mass-Holes, Hypocritical Irony took a turn, as it often does,  towards how much I hate the selfish ass-clowns who enjoy bending the public over and sodomizing them with policies they don't want or need run our country. After a few weeks like that, I need to take time and reflect on the fact that there are real heroes in the world. People who can be looked up to. People who mean something to our society. This post is not about those people.

A few weeks ago Snooki, The Situation, JWoWW, Paulie and Ronnie and Vinny (Yes, I just did that from memory. And yes, now I want to kill myself.) took the country by storm with their MTV reality show Jersey Shore. At first I had no inclination to watch the show. The "stars" were basically celebrating everything I hate about people. Basically, if you told me to build a Frankenstein of suck and douchebaggery using the aspects of people that enrage me every day, my monster could very possibly look like any member of that cast.

But as I said, I was not interested in the show. Not even from a train wreck perspective, which is surprising, because I looove me some train wrecks. Of course the fiancée wanted to watch it though. The first episode that I watched actually made me mad. It was unlike any reality show I had ever seen. The rest of MTV and VH1's stable of famewhores were just that: famewhores. You knew there was an agenda and that Rock of Love or Shot at Love or whatever iteration you choose were really just being used as stepping stones to a new career in show business. This was not so with the cast of Jersey Shore. As I watched I realized that there was no pretense or charade. Those vapid, selfish, vein, fuckers were really just being themselves. And they didn't care who saw it because they couldn't fill a thimble with the amount of self-awareness they possess... COMBINED.

The second time I watched it though I became intrigued. Instead of letting myself get mad at how badly those people sucked, I became fascinated with them. How could someone actually live their lives this way? Could people really be that oblivious to the world around them and how they come off to other people? Suddenly, The Situaion repeatedly getting shot down but never giving up trying to get laid without even a thought to his most recent failure became entertaining. In a disturbing kind of way, their lack of self awareness made me almost envious. What would it be like? I would wonder. What if I could actually go through a day without a single care in the world besides sex and alcohol? What if I could just walk out of my job and with 100% authentic exasperation and with out a hint of irony lament an 8 hour work day at the beach as too exhausting to be considered humane?

The intrigue and fascination are what made the show watchable. Sure after that meathead gym teacher blasted Snooki in the face I kind of thought that, while it was wrong of him to hit her, she was kind of asking for it. But at the same time, she didn't know better. Every retarded thing that those people did I could explain away with that notion. They didn't know better. Or, it's just the way they are. Those two excuses are never ever acceptable to me. But somehow, in the context of the Jersey Shore they were perfectly plausible and made everything better. And for that, Jersey Shore, for making me for a brief moment be able to just laugh at and not want to murder some selfish, arrogant, retarded douchebag, I thank you.

You will be missed.