People who are famous for having too many kids.
Hey Octomom! Hey Jon and Kate! I hope 2010 finds you burning to death in a fire. The only hope your children have of becoming normal, well adjusted members of society who are not permanently scarred by your selfishness and greed is for you to cease to exist. Did that ever occur to you either? I'm pretty sure that if I realized one day that only my death could help to make my child's life better I would have a pretty quick about face when it came to life decisions. Incidentally, life decision #1 should always be: DON'T HAVE MORE KIDS THAN YOU CAN RESPONSIBLY TAKE CARE OF.
Michael Jackson and the shit storm he caused when he died.
Jacko can get fucked too. Was I the only person in the world who thought it was a travesty that he hijacked the world's attention for longer than 30 seconds when he died? The dude was, at best, a mentally unbalanced man-child; and, at worst, a pedophile who's inappropriate behavior was overlook as eccentric because he was relevant in the United States 20 fucking years ago.
Liberals and Democrats.
Maybe if they didn't spend six months patting themselves on the back for getting a black dude into the Oval Office they could have accomplished something tangible in 2009. Those hypocritical douchebags have not come through on any promises or even god damn ideas that they had over the last 12 months. Economy? Sucks. Still. Health care? Not reformed. Still. (Which is OK by me.) Wars? Going strong. Both of them. Still. I mean holy shit. Even Ted Kennedy decided to die rather than be a part of their fucktardery. The day I don't have to see those smug pricks Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid on my TV will be a happy happy day indeed. And if there's one thing that they are better at than anything else, it's blaming other people for their own faults. When you run the government, the media and Hollywood and STILL can't get everyone on board them maybe the problem is with you. You think?
People rationalizing mistakes, trivializing disgraces and apologizing for douchbaggery just because you're famous.
Roman Polanski. Chris Brown. Kanye West. Lindsay Lohan. Michael Vick. Just to name five for the sake of space we have, in order: a rapist, a wife beater, a douchebag, a multiple felon, and a sociopath. We also have, in order: a millionaire living without punishment in a chateau in France, a millionaire who is not in jail but instead lamenting his lack of album sales, a millionaire who is not in prison (I fully contend that if you are an obnoxious and pretentious douchebag that that should be a punishable criminal offense,) yup she's free too (nice work LAPD!!,) and another millionaire whose transgressions were wiped under the carpet because he can run fast. I hate anyone who feels they are entitled to anything just because of their social or economic status. If I raped a 13 year old I would go to jail and be murdered and people would think I got what I deserved. (Which is, in fact, what I would deserve.) But you have someone like Polanski who makes good movies and, hey, it was a long time ago!!
The Yankees.
They didn't do anything wrong per se. They just beat the Phillies in the World Series because they were better than them. So, yeah, fuck those guys.
Political correctness.
I despise people who live their life by a strict PC standard. I don't. (Clearly.) And I feel it takes a profound lack of self respect and conviction to live your life by someone else's standards instead of your own. I was reminded of how disgraceful political correctness can be in the wake of the failed terrorist attack this month. Do you remember when it was decided that there were no longer "terrorist attacks" but instead "man caused disasters?" I do. Fuck you for calling despicable acts of cowardice anything other than what they are.
Their, there, they're.
Listen up. English is a relatively complex language because of all the different influences other languages have had on it. There is absolutely no reason, however, that mistakes in the use of these five words cannot be eliminated with a half second of thought. Their indicates possession. As in: Their lack of intelligence makes my head hurt listening to the cast of The Jersey Shore. There refers to a place. As in: You are a retard and I can't keep listening to you so I'm going over there. They're is a contraction of they and are. As in: They're going to make me bang my head on the wall with their idiotic comments. Write that down. Remember it. (And the same goes for then and than. Then is denotes time or order. Than is used for a comparison. For example, it is a disgrace that the use of the word "than" even needs to be explained to people older THAN six. And, If you can't comprehend this, get a gun THEN shoot yourself.)
Swine Flu.
I had it and it was horrendous. Ugh. The only thing more sickening was the obsessive media coverage and over reaction to it.
Bernie Madoff, Wall Street CEOs and other thieves.
These people ruined lives. And I don't mean that figuratively. People were ruined. Completely. Why? Out of greed. Pure and simple. Madoff was but the most conspicuous financial criminal of the year. But the men on their thrones on Wall Street and those perched above the rest of us from their cushy executive posts at those "too big to fail" companies should be taken from their lofty pedestals and summarily thrown from them. If you knowingly and consciously make yourself wealthy beyond comprehension at the devastating expense of those who trust you, you are worth less than the shit on the bottom of my shoe no matter how many zeroes are on the end of your annual bonus.
Twitter.
It's ironic that I would be incensed by a public forum to air your thoughts, cares, grievances, etc. After all, since about May I've taken to this blog to rant and rave about all kinds of retarded shit. Twitter, however, is different. I do not know a single person in this world who needs to alert everyone about every little thing that pops into their head. As a matter of fact, most of the people that I know should be specifically banned from sharing the shit that pops into their head. It's also the 140 character minimum. It commands that your thoughts lack insite and depth. It requires a self absorbed shallowness that is becoming frighteningly pervasive in our society today. It should be noted, however, that the only reason there is not a Hypocritical Irony Twitter page is because Hypocritical Irony was too long for a name. I took that as a sign, closed the page and thanked god I didn't go through with it.
Well that was only a miniscule piece of the "Shit That Pissed Me Off" pie, but what do you know? I feel better now and am considerably less aggravated THAN I was when I started typing. Hypocritical Irony has been quite therapeutic for me this year and I hope I made some of the poor souls who've been subjected to my rantings at least laugh a few times along the way. But really, I'm not concerned with that as much as I am with keeping my blood pressure under control and blood vessels in my brain un-ruptured. What can I say? I'm selfish like that.
Happy New Year.
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