Move your ass kid!

Do you see what that little fucker is doing in the picture to the right? He's running after his school bus. Do you remember when kids used to do that? We ran everywhere. Especially if it was when we were about to be late for the school bus. In my house you had better not have been late for the bus because if you have to make that walk home and let mom know that she better drop her shit to drive you to school in her robe you are about to get your ass kicked. But not today, no. The angry little midgets these days (if they don't get chauffeured there by their dad anyway, which was another thing that was not a fucking option in my house growing up) don't give two shits if they miss the school bus so there is no sense of urgency to make it to the stop on time. Why is there no urgency? Why, I'm glad you asked. It's because apparently the school bus drivers are willing to just sit and wait for some tubby little shit to waddle his way up to the bus. Back in the day if you were 30 seconds late you were choking on asphalt getting kicked into your face by the bus as it pulled off down the road as your outstretched fingers just brushed the rear bumper.

Schools opened up around here last week and this week. I HATE when school is back in session. I hate it for several reasons. First: Now those douchebag kids on the skate boards have to loiter in my neighborhood after school instead of during the day so I almost run them over on the way home from work. Second: It always takes me a week or two to remember that for some reason having a few dozen more vehicles (buses) on the road means it's going to take me an extra 10 fucking minutes to get to work. That might not seem like a lot to you, but I would call to your attention the fact that when school is NOT in session it takes me about 12 minutes to get to work. Those little bastards almost DOUBLE my commute. Third: Bitchy looks from parents as I pull out of the neighborhood by the bus stop and am crawling along at a pace faster than two miles per hour. Hey mom! How bout you teach your kids not to run rampant through the streets when people are trying to get the fuck to work. Forth: Getting trapped by buses waiting for some little troglodyte to jam the last bites of Fruity Pebbles down his throat and then WALK to the bus that is holding up traffic while his mom hangs out the door begging the bus driver to wait "just a sec."

Fuck school buses. Fuck kids who can't get to the bus on time. Fuck the parents who aid and abet them in their laziness.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some laxative to inject into Snickers bars for next month.