I hate salesmen. (Oh, I’m sorry, are you a woman in sales who just got offended that I didn’t say salesperson? Congratulations! You are the definition of the pushy pain in the dick that I’m talking about. Get fucked.)
Now, this is not to say that I hate people who are “in” sales. If you sell a product or service and I approach you for more information, then obviously you have a job to do and I will welcome your pitch since I have, after all, asked for it. I’m talking about those piece of shit douche bags from the phone company, for example, who just wander into my store to talk about new phone services. Not new SERVICE, just a new PLAN for the service I already fucking have.
And no means no you prick. You are raping me of my time with your incessant phone calls and just showing up because you are “in the area.”
Oh, you just happened to be in the area? I don’t give two and a half shits that you “happened” to be driving by.
“Oh, you’re in no way interested in what I have to say? Well in that case, if you have a phone bill handy I can just review it right now and show you what I can do for you.” Fuck off. Yeah, just let me drop everything that I’m doing right now because it was convenient for you to come in and bother me.
I would have more respect for you if you just told me, “Hey, I’m selling {insert useless piece of shit product here} and I’m stopping in every single business in a 10 miles radius, can I talk to you about it?” You know what? If you approached it that way I might actually say yes and listen instead of standing on the other side of the counter thinking about whether or not I could hide your body after bashing your face into said counter 25 times.
I service and sell computers for a living. I understand that you have to offer your service to people. But guess what I don’t do? I don’t just walk into an office uninvited and start hawking my shit. Does that make me a bad salesman? Fuck and no. What that makes ME is a courteous individual who is willing to help you when the times comes that you need it. I will not cram useless shit down your throat to make a buck. I’ll take the two that I make when you actually need something, thank you.
Fuuuuck You. I get it. You have a job to do. But oh my loving god you are the most annoying scum sucking pieces of shit on the planet. You are the human embodiment of junk mail.
Now, this is not to say that I hate people who are “in” sales. If you sell a product or service and I approach you for more information, then obviously you have a job to do and I will welcome your pitch since I have, after all, asked for it. I’m talking about those piece of shit douche bags from the phone company, for example, who just wander into my store to talk about new phone services. Not new SERVICE, just a new PLAN for the service I already fucking have.
And no means no you prick. You are raping me of my time with your incessant phone calls and just showing up because you are “in the area.”
Oh, you just happened to be in the area? I don’t give two and a half shits that you “happened” to be driving by.
“Oh, you’re in no way interested in what I have to say? Well in that case, if you have a phone bill handy I can just review it right now and show you what I can do for you.” Fuck off. Yeah, just let me drop everything that I’m doing right now because it was convenient for you to come in and bother me.
I would have more respect for you if you just told me, “Hey, I’m selling {insert useless piece of shit product here} and I’m stopping in every single business in a 10 miles radius, can I talk to you about it?” You know what? If you approached it that way I might actually say yes and listen instead of standing on the other side of the counter thinking about whether or not I could hide your body after bashing your face into said counter 25 times.
I service and sell computers for a living. I understand that you have to offer your service to people. But guess what I don’t do? I don’t just walk into an office uninvited and start hawking my shit. Does that make me a bad salesman? Fuck and no. What that makes ME is a courteous individual who is willing to help you when the times comes that you need it. I will not cram useless shit down your throat to make a buck. I’ll take the two that I make when you actually need something, thank you.
Fuuuuck You. I get it. You have a job to do. But oh my loving god you are the most annoying scum sucking pieces of shit on the planet. You are the human embodiment of junk mail.
I JUST HAPPENED TO BE IN THE AREA!
ReplyDeleteAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
At least have the decency to call to set up an appointment... Or send the classy sales pitch text message to buy an ad on a tri/run/run team jersey!
I owe you beers dude.