Kardashian, Gaga and Seacrest. Your new moral authority America.

I was about to flip my shit in an annual "Some Stupid Motherfuckers Made a Local Business Take Christmas out of the Name of an Event" type rant today because that shit really pisses me off. But as it turns out, if there's one thing that pisses me off more than the types of hypersensitive PC jerkoffs that make people turn their events and names into milqetoast iterations so as not to offend anyone, it's selfimportant celebrities who completely lack any semblance of self awareness and have no grasp on reality. Oh hey, guess what?

Charity is a great thing. Of course, the people who support the vast amount of charities are annoying fucking douchebags. (Donate to Penn State's Dance Marathon here, unless you hate kids with cancer.) But the idea behind charity is noble. Help out those less fortunate. It makes you feel good. Buuuut, here's the thing. Not sharing when you are wiping your ass on Twitter, to make other people donate money is astoundingly selfish and appalling.

Some of the celebs who have vowed to stay off of their Twitter and Facebook accounts until $1 million is raised for AIDS babies are Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, and Ryan Seacrest. Keep in mind that their net worths, thanks to exhaustive internet searching, are $12 million, $60 million and $75 million respectively.  Now I can understand why Gaga and Seacrest would have a special place in their heart for AIDS research. (I'll give you a second... got it? Good.) But that big assed attention whore Kardashian should be whored out to the NBA and then that money can be donated to the AIDS babies. Don't tell me the Heat wouldn't pay to run a train.

Well if there's one thing AIDS awareness has taught us, it's that spiders love to go down.

How about the three of them all put together $333,333.33 a piece and then BANG a million bucks. I'll even throw in the left over penny. Keep in mind that Kim Kardashian will do anything to get herself in front of a camera in an effort to keep herself relevant way past what her shelf life should have been. And I do mean anything. Literally, anything.

I don't pretend to be a moral authority on anything. I'm generally a nice guy except for the excessive anger of stupid fucking shit... like celebrities and democrats, but I wouldn't presume to essentially hold people hostage until they gave money to something I cared about. Maybe one of Kardashians Twitter followers hates Lady Gaga and WANTS her to get AIDS. Then what are they supposed to do? I believe that's what is known as a catch-22.

And don't think I'm letting their dipshit followers who will undoubtedly pony up off the hook. They are just as bad for giving those three the inflated sense of self worth that allows them to take their multi-million dollar earnings from amateur porn, whatever the fuck it is that Gaga does, and the fucking Seacrest empire and put the onus of raising money for a charity on their follows who are statistically out of work at a rate of 1 in 10. And frankly probably even more because they presumably skew towards retard teenages who don't work anyway.

Anyway, stay tuned for the Christmas rant that I'm sure will be upcoming because it simmers in me every year for six weeks until I really and truly lose my shit.