Oh Paula Deen, how I loathe you

I'm Paula Deen Y'all - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

One of the channels that I will regularly check out is Food Network. I really enjoy cooking and enjoy getting new ideas and recipes from the shows. What makes my head want to explode is when I turn on Food Network and hear that redneck bitch Paula Dean with her southern accent punctuating every sentence with a thick "yaaa'll." It grates at me like fingers on a chalk board. Now, this is a shame because her brand of southern cooking looks like it would be very good. But I just can't handle it when I have to sit there and listen to her talk like some back water yocal.

Well the other day I flipped on Food Network and saw an old episode of hers and guess what? She didn't speak like I'm used to hearing her. This made me uncomfortably angry because I couldn't figure out which was worse: that she felt comfortable portraying a caricature of herself as a braying jackass, or that there was an executive at the Food Network who sat down one day and said, "You know, we don't have nearly enough stereotypical douches on this channel. Someone get Paula Deen on the phone and see if she can ham it up enough to make people want to shoot themselves in the head." For about ten wonderful minutes I listened to a nice woman explain how to make several homestyle meals that looked delicious. Then the show went to a commercial. Of her. Saying "Hi, Yaaa'll." And I kicked a hole in my TV.